23,288 notes

officialwhitegirls:

when kids don’t listen to you and think its funny to disobey what youre telling them

image

(via thelightning-queef)

21,535 notes

therealhamster:

being interrupted mid sentence

(via thelightning-queef)

27,767 notes

mooseravenclaw:

jaclcfrost:

a good response to the question “how old are you?” is something along the lines of “dunno i stopped counting after the first few centuries”

and it needs to be said seriously without smiling or humor or as casually as possible and followed by “so anyway” and a subject change as if it’s completely normal

"I stopped counting a few decades ago. no. what’s the one with the zeros? millennia that’s it. human time keeping is so confusing."

(via jellyblanket)

525,195 notes

prejaculate:

i can’t hang out tomorrow i’m too busy doing nothing alone sorry

(via silentandfriendly)

125,432 notes

sexioto:

that boy you just called gay? well he is gay. he’s your boyfriend. both of you are gay. how do you keep forgetting this, jeffery

(via surprisebitch)